Writing

How to Write a Best Man Speech

Spencer LanoueSpencer Lanoue
Writing

Being the best man is an honor, but let's face it. The best man speech can feel like a mountain to climb. Whether you're a seasoned public speaker or someone who breaks into a sweat at the thought of addressing a crowd, writing a memorable speech is achievable. In this post, we'll look at how to craft a best man speech that hits all the right notes, from funny to heartfelt, and leaves the audience clapping for more.

Start With the Basics: Know Your Audience

Before you put pen to paper—or fingers to keyboard—it's important to know who you're addressing. Is the crowd full of close family and friends, or are there colleagues and acquaintances too? Understanding the makeup of your audience helps in striking the right tone. You want your speech to resonate with everyone, not just a select few.

Here are a few points to consider:

  • Family-friendly language: Remember, this isn't a comedy roast. Keep it respectful.
  • Inside jokes: Use them sparingly. They should be funny to those ‚Äúinside‚Äù but understandable enough for others to catch the gist.
  • Length: Aim for about five to seven minutes. Long enough to cover your points but short enough to keep everyone engaged.

Understanding your audience sets the stage for a speech that feels personal and inclusive. It's the first step in ensuring that both Uncle Bob and your best mate from college enjoy the moment.

Tell a Story: The Heart of Your Speech

Now that you've got a sense of who you're speaking to, it's time to dive into the storytelling. This isn't just about recounting events; it's about creating a narrative that highlights the groom's best qualities and your shared experiences.

Think about the key stories that define your friendship or the groom's character. Here's a structure that might help:

  • Set the Scene: Describe your first meeting or a memorable moment.
  • Build Up: Share a funny or touching story that illustrates why the groom is an amazing person.
  • Climactic Point: Highlight a turning point or a significant aspect of his life that leads to the present day.
  • Conclusion: Tie it all back to why he's going to be a fantastic husband.

For example:

“I met John in college. We were both new to the campus, wandering around like lost sheep. One day, we found ourselves at the same coffee shop, both confused by the espresso machine. That encounter turned into a friendship where John has always been the guy who's up for solving life's little mysteries, just like that day with the coffee. Fast forward to now, and you can see why he's the perfect partner for Sarah—always there, always willing to figure things out together.”

This approach not only entertains but also allows the audience to connect with the groom on a deeper level.

Inject Humor, But Keep It Classy

Humor is a great way to keep the audience engaged, but it's a delicate balance. The goal is to make people laugh, not cringe or feel uncomfortable. A few gentle jokes or light-hearted anecdotes can add a lot to your speech.

Here are some tips for incorporating humor:

  • Self-deprecating humor: It's safe and relatable. If you can laugh at yourself, the audience will feel at ease.
  • Avoid embarrassing stories: Don't share anything that would make the groom or his new spouse uncomfortable.
  • Use timing to your advantage: Pausing after a punchline gives the audience a moment to react and laugh.

For example:

“John and I have been through a lot together—like the time we tried a DIY home improvement project. Spoiler alert: we're both banned from using power tools in the house. Thankfully, Sarah has taken over in that department, ensuring their home remains intact.”

Remember, a well-timed joke can make your speech memorable, but the focus should always remain on celebrating the couple.

Express Genuine Emotion

A great best man speech isn't just about laughs; it's also about heartfelt moments that touch the groom and everyone present. Letting your emotions show adds depth and sincerity to your words.

Here's how you can incorporate genuine emotion into your speech:

  • Be honest: Speak from the heart about what the groom means to you.
  • Highlight the couple's relationship: Talk about how they complement each other and your hopes for their future.
  • Use personal anecdotes: Share moments that showcase the groom's kindness or integrity.

For example:

“Seeing John with Sarah is like witnessing magic. His eyes light up whenever she walks into the room, and I know that she's the reason he's smiling just a little bit bigger every day. Their love is genuine, and it's an honor to watch it grow.”

These moments of authenticity are often the most memorable and touching parts of a speech.

Offer Meaningful Toasts

The toast is the crescendo of your speech, the moment when you bring everything together and raise a glass to the couple. It's a chance to express your best wishes and leave the audience on a high note.

Here are some elements to include in your toast:

  • Celebrate the couple: Highlight their strengths and how they complement each other.
  • Best wishes for the future: Share your hopes and dreams for their new life together.
  • Keep it concise: A toast should be brief yet impactful.

For example:

“To John and Sarah, may your life together be as beautiful and fulfilling as the love you share today. Here's to a lifetime of happiness, laughter, and endless adventures. Cheers!”

Ending with a toast leaves the audience feeling uplifted and ready to celebrate with the newlyweds.

Practice Makes Perfect

No matter how well you've written your speech, practice is key to delivering it smoothly. Standing in front of a mirror or recording yourself can help you gauge your timing and flow. Plus, practice gives you confidence, which is half the battle when speaking in front of a crowd.

Here’s how to practice effectively:

  • Read aloud: Hearing your speech helps you catch awkward phrasing or timing issues.
  • Time yourself: Make sure your speech isn't too long or too short.
  • Rehearse in different settings: Try practicing in a quiet room, then in a noisier environment to simulate the actual event.

Practice helps turn your written words into a spoken performance that feels natural and engaging.

Handling Nerves

Feeling nervous is natural, especially when speaking in front of a large group. But there are ways to manage those jitters and deliver your speech with confidence.

Consider these strategies:

  • Take deep breaths: A few deep breaths before you start can calm your nerves.
  • Focus on friendly faces: Make eye contact with people who are smiling and supportive.
  • Remember, it's about the couple: Shift your focus from yourself to the joy of celebrating your friends.

While it's normal to feel nervous, remember that the audience is rooting for you. They want to hear what you have to say!

Using Spell to Draft and Edit Your Speech

Writing doesn't have to be a solitary or time-consuming task. With Spell, you can draft and refine your speech quickly and efficiently. Spell acts like a document editor with AI built in, helping you generate drafts and improve your writing with ease.

Here’s how Spell can assist:

  • Generate a draft: Start with a few ideas, and let Spell help you create a solid first draft.
  • Edit with natural language: Highlight and refine your text using intuitive commands.
  • Collaborate with others: Share your speech with trusted friends or family for feedback and suggestions.

Using technology like Spell can streamline the writing process, leaving you more time to focus on practicing your delivery.

Preparing for the Big Day

As the wedding day approaches, make sure you're ready to shine. Preparation involves more than just practicing your speech; it's about being mentally and emotionally ready to celebrate.

Here are some final steps to consider:

  • Get a good night's sleep: Being well-rested helps you feel alert and focused.
  • Stay hydrated: Drink enough water to keep your voice clear.
  • Relax and have fun: Remember, this is a joyous occasion. Enjoy the moment!

Your preparation will pay off, allowing you to deliver a speech that's memorable for all the right reasons.

Final Thoughts

Crafting a best man speech that's heartfelt and humorous may seem daunting, but with the right approach and a little help from Spell, it becomes a manageable and even enjoyable task. Remember, it's all about celebrating the couple and sharing your cherished memories. With practice and preparation, you'll deliver a speech that becomes a cherished part of their wedding day memories.

Spencer Lanoue

Spencer Lanoue

Spencer has been working in product and growth for the last 10 years. He's currently Head of Growth at Sugardoh. Before that he worked at Bump Boxes, Buffer, UserTesting, and a few other early-stage startups.