Writing

How to Write a Wedding Thank You Note

Spencer LanoueSpencer Lanoue
Writing

Sending thank you notes after your wedding is a timeless tradition that serves as a way to express gratitude to those who shared in your special day. While the task may seem daunting, especially after the whirlwind of wedding planning and festivities. It’s a heartfelt gesture that leaves a lasting impression. Let's delve into how you can make this process both personal and manageable.

Start with a Strategy

Before putting pen to paper, it’s important to set up a game plan. Organizing your thoughts and materials can make the task much less overwhelming. Here's how to get started:

  • List Everyone Out: Create a comprehensive list of all the guests who attended your wedding and those who sent gifts. This will ensure no one is accidentally left out.
  • Gather Contact Information: Ensure you have addresses for all your guests. If you used a wedding website, it might have a feature to collect this information.
  • Set a Timeline: Aim to send thank you notes within three months of your wedding. Setting weekly goals, like writing a certain number each week, can help you stay on track.

By planning ahead, you make sure the process is not just efficient but also enjoyable, allowing you to reflect on the amazing support you received.

Personalize Each Message

Generic thank you notes can feel impersonal. It’s important to tailor each message to the recipient. Here’s how to add that special touch:

  • Address by Name: Always start your note by addressing the recipient by name. It‚Äôs a small detail that makes a big difference.
  • Mention the Gift: Specifically mention the gift you received and how you plan to use it. It shows you value and appreciate their thoughtfulness.
  • Reflect on Memories: Share a personal memory or moment from the wedding that involved the recipient. It makes the note more meaningful.

Here's a sample note to illustrate:

Dear Aunt Linda,

Thank you so much for the beautiful quilt you gifted us. We’ve draped it over our couch, and it’s already become a favorite spot to relax. It was wonderful to see you at the wedding, especially during the dance floor antics! We hope to visit you soon.

With love,  
Emily & Mark

Keep It Simple and Sincere

You don’t have to write a novel to convey your gratitude. Often, a straightforward and heartfelt message is most effective. Here’s what to keep in mind:

  • Be Direct: Get straight to the point without overcomplicating your message.
  • Use Your Voice: Write the way you speak. This keeps your message authentic and genuine.
  • Acknowledge Their Presence: If they attended, express how much their presence meant to you.

Remember, sincerity is key. Here’s an example of a simple yet effective thank you note:

Hi Tom,

Thank you for the generous gift card to our favorite restaurant. We’re looking forward to a lovely date night soon. It was great having you at our wedding, and we’re grateful for your friendship.

Cheers,  
Sarah & Jake

Addressing Group Gifts

Sometimes gifts come from a group of people rather than an individual. This often happens with colleagues or friends chipping in for a joint present. Here’s how to tackle these situations:

  • Group Note: If everyone is close and you know they communicated about the gift, a single note addressed to all is acceptable.
  • Individual Notes: If the group is more loosely connected, consider writing individual notes to each member.
  • Be Specific: Mention the group effort in your message to acknowledge their joint generosity.

Here’s a sample for a group gift:

Dear Sales Team,

Thank you all for the incredible dinnerware set. We’ve already used it for a few dinners, and it’s perfect for our new home. It was so thoughtful of all of you to come together for this gift.

Warm regards,  
Laura & Chris

Handling Late Notes

Life happens, and sometimes thank you notes get delayed. If you find yourself in this situation, don’t panic. It’s never too late to express gratitude. Here’s how to handle it gracefully:

  • Acknowledge the Delay: Briefly mention the delay in your note, but don‚Äôt dwell on it.
  • Focus on Appreciation: The primary goal is to express gratitude, so keep the emphasis there.
  • Use Humor Sparingly: A light-hearted apology can be effective if it suits the relationship.

Here’s an example of addressing a late note:

Hi Alex,

Apologies for the delay in sending this note! We’ve been adjusting to married life and time slipped away. Thank you for the lovely photo frame. We’ve put our favorite wedding picture in it, and it looks great in our living room.

Thanks again,  
Megan & Ryan

Choosing the Right Stationery

The stationery you choose can add a special touch to your thank you notes. While it doesn’t need to be extravagant, a little thought goes a long way. Consider these tips:

  • Reflect Your Style: Choose stationery that reflects your personal style as a couple.
  • Quality Over Quantity: Invest in good quality paper and envelopes. It enhances the experience for the recipient.
  • Consider Customization: Personalized stationery with your names or wedding date can add a memorable touch.

While handwritten notes are traditionally preferred, using a tool like Spell can help you draft your messages quickly before transferring them to paper, especially if you're working through a large number of notes.

Deciding on a Format

When it comes to the format of your thank you notes, consistency is key. Here are some options to consider:

  • Handwritten Notes: These are the gold standard for thank you notes. They feel more personal and thoughtful.
  • Typed Notes: If your handwriting is difficult to read, typing is better than illegible scrawl. Just make sure to sign by hand.
  • Email Notes: While not traditional, emails can be appropriate for tech-savvy friends or if the recipient is overseas.

Choose the format that feels right for you and your guests. The most important thing is that your gratitude shines through, regardless of the method.

Incorporating Personal Touches

Adding a personal touch to your thank you notes can make them even more special. Here’s how:

  • Include a Photo: Tuck a small photo from the wedding into the envelope as a keepsake.
  • Hand-drawn Elements: If you‚Äôre artistic, add a small illustration or doodle.
  • Use a Personalized Stamp: A custom stamp with your initials or wedding date can add flair.

These little extras can make your thank you notes memorable and cherished by the recipients.

Final Thoughts

Writing wedding thank you notes can be a rewarding task that allows you to connect with loved ones and express your appreciation. It's about the thought and gratitude you convey, and tools like Spell can help streamline the process, making it more enjoyable and less stressful. Remember, it’s the heartfelt messages that will be remembered long after they’re sent.

Spencer Lanoue

Spencer Lanoue

Spencer has been working in product and growth for the last 10 years. He's currently Head of Growth at Sugardoh. Before that he worked at Bump Boxes, Buffer, UserTesting, and a few other early-stage startups.